Chapter Thirteen

All About The Kids

Naming our children was never a big discussion since we agreed with each other for the most part. Neither of us had predetermined names we wanted to use. We tossed around family names but never settled on one for our children.

Before Andrew was born, we arrived at his name because we liked the name "Drew". But having one-syllable first and last names seemed a bit awkward so we opted for Andrew for his legal name. We called him "Drew" from birth and assumed he would always be "Drew". Much to our surprise, however, when he met his Kindergarten teacher before he started school, she asked him what he wanted to be called and he very plainly said, "Andrew!" Even today, family calls him Drew, but he's Andrew to friends and business associates and in a more formal setting.

Dana's name came from our love of my Great Aunt Egberdina "Dena" Van Ryn (nee Simmelink). She was old and living in a retirement home near West 150th Street in Cleveland. When we were dating and for a short while after we were first married, we would pick her up for church every Sunday until we moved to Willard. She was my Mom's Aunt, a sister to her mother. I loved that lady but wasn't too fond of "Dena" for a name but "Dana" seemed like a perfect connection without taking my aunt's actual name. So, out of love and respect for her, Dana carries her memory and the similarity of her name.

When Debbie was born, we had already decided on the name, Deborah Leanne for a girl. I don't recall if we had a boy's name picked out but I'm sure we did. I always thought we should have a Ronald after my husband but he was never fond of the idea.

Andrew's baby picture is almost identical to my husband's. In fact, we had them side-by-side in frames for a while because of the strong resemblance. As he grew, he continued to look like his dad. Even now 48 years later, people still comment about how much he looks like his dad. From behind, his silhouette is identical; their posture is alike and they walk with their arms and hands are positioned alike. The older he gets, though, he seems to strongly resemble his Uncle Bob!

Dana, our middle child, is a good mixture of both of us although I think she bears a stronger resemblance to me than to her father. She may get her height from him, but she has a lot of Stockwell/Dugger in her. Of course, she's immensely more beautiful than either of us!

Debbie is her Mama made over again in countless ways. She gets her height from her dad but her genetic makeup is primarily from me. Like Dana, however, she's immensely more beautiful than I ever hoped to be!

Martha and Barbara are the middle siblings from a family of six children; there are two older siblings and two younger. As it turned out, severing their parents' parental rights probably wasn't a good idea. As soon as Barbara left home, she reconnected with her bio-family. That meant Martha was forced into the reconnection at a time when she wasn't ready (in our opinion). It put her in a position to choose us or them. Barbara had already made the choice and fed her bio-family some wildly embellished stories that made us look horrible in their eyes. While Martha remains close and very much a part of our family, Barbara does not. She has unapologetically said some very hateful things about my husband and we chose to shut down communication with her. This is difficult because of her sons, Josh and Abe. We wish the situation was different for their sakes; we try to stay in touch via social media but it's not the same. The physical distance between us further complicates our involvement in their lives. In fact, it's a problem for all our KY family. As we've aged and with both of us having health problems, travel has become more difficult.

Glen, our oldest, came from a sibling group of five; he was the second youngest. For a while, he was in contact with his two older brothers and older sister ... Ray, Dale and Mary Jane. However, he no longer communicates with Ray, Dale passed away, and Mary Jane remains in a home for those with learning disabilities . We were told there was a baby younger than Glen who passed away when the children were abandoned by their bio-parents.

At Glen's request, my husband took Glen to meet his bio-mom one time but it was not a good experience. He came to the decision to not have any further contact with her. While our hearts broke for him, we were blessed to know that we had truly become his forever-family. He bears the Ross name proudly.