5 min read


“I let a little girl die today because I needed to support my children. I can’t do this any longer! Those babies are children who deserve to live!”
Renewed Indignation
Photo by Carlo Navarro / Unsplash

A Lack of Moral Compass

Let me get right to the point. The thought of killing an unborn child has never been acceptable to me. Having experienced the pain of childlessness for the first several years of our marriage only compounded my indignation regarding abortion. While we rejoiced with the miracle of unexpected pregnancy, the thought of abortion still broke my heart, and rightfully so.

Upon the arrival of our first-born, we were living in an apartment in Southern California. We knew our neighbor was a nurse; she was a very kind and sensitive woman who was always ready to help, to encourage, or to simply be a friend. It wasn’t until the day she stopped by to let me know she had become an unemployed single mother of two and didn’t know how she was going to make it, that I got my first glimpse into the horrors of the abortion industry. Her former employer was Planned Parenthood; her job was to assist with abortions.

That day in 1976, Kate (not her real name) and I sat down for a heart-to-heart while I held my newborn son. Box of tissues conveniently within reach, she began her story ...

A couple years before we met, her husband had left her for another woman. She had two young children and was desperate to find a job that would enable her to support them. Planned Parenthood offered her a good salary to assist with a variety of women’s health-related "medical procedures”. She was unaware of what would one day soon be required of her. She said it was a gradual process — at first, simple gynecological exams, periodic pre-natal follow-ups, and diagnosing and counseling for STD’s. She was happy, the pay was good, and her life was coming together.

After about six months, her supervisor called her into the office and offered her a promotion. She would be assisting in "minor elective surgical procedures" including D&C’s; it seemed like a good opportunity and the pay raise would greatly benefit her family. Blindly, she agreed.

At first, the term “abortion” was never used. Kate said it was a simple procedure to evacuate the uterus of menstrual tissue that had not been naturally expelled. She noticed that sometimes there was some difficulty with the evacuation process but assumed it was natural. It wasn’t until some time later when she was called upon to assist with later-term abortions that her growing suspicions were confirmed. But, because she needed the money for her family, she felt pressured to continue although she was painfully disgusted with her role in the process.

Kate went on to say that over the past several months of working there, she saw girls returning for “procedures” as if to use abortion as their only means of birth control. She saw young girls brought by school counselors who had a “procedure” and return to school in the afternoon to ride the bus home. She later learned that the local public schools offered this service without charge and without parental consent.

As Kate went on, she couldn’t stop crying. I remember asking her what happened to put her in the position of now suddenly being unemployed. Her response is one I’ll never forget: “I can’t look at my children without seeing those tiny babies being sucked out, torn apart and disposed of without feeling like I should have done something to stop the horror! Today I heard a baby cry and the doctor told me to put her in a trash bag and ignore her — she was a little girl desperate for life and I was ordered to let her die."

Grabbing more tissue, Kate began to sob: “I let a little girl die today because I needed to support my children. I can’t do this any longer! Those babies are children who deserve to live!”

There I sat holding my newborn, sharing the couch with a woman who let a little girl die because she needed to feed her own children. Although indignant because of the butchery she had been involved in, I was so proud of her for making the decision to leave. I grabbed her hand and began to pray with her, asking God to forgive her for her role in the needless killing of so many innocent children.

After what seemed to be hours of talking and crying and praying, there was a knock at the door and two kids peered in: “Hi Mom! We’re home!”

Kate grabbed her kids and clung to them. We hugged and she took them back to her apartment.

That day so many years ago is forever etched in my memory; the impact it had on me has never diminished. With the current videos revealing the horrors of Planned Parenthood’s practices and procedures, I have renewed indignation. And, for good reason.

  1. Children being knit together by God for His purposes and His glory are being ripped from the womb and discarded without regard to their uniqueness and divine purpose and their “parts” are being sold for a profit.
  2. I know people who were conceived in a violent rape who have grown to be productive and often very gifted adults, who have been instrumental in reflecting the amazing love of God through their individual lives — people who, by the standards of too many, have no right to be born because of the circumstances surrounding their conception.
  3. The cries of women demanding the right to choose  death for their offspring is nothing short of the lack of a moral compass — the lack of understanding life and its purpose and the inability to discern right from wrong. It is the most selfish approach to life possible to deny one’s own offspring the right to live.
  4. Having experienced the very real pain of childlessness, the mindless slaughter of children is a slap in the face to every woman desperate to conceive and to every couple longing to adopt only to find themselves on a waiting list for up to 10 years for a child.

I understand that my indignation probably means very little to anyone else. People get upset and go on a rant all the time only to experience a gradual loss of passion over time as they move onto another object of their temporary indignation. But, the taking of life — life created in the image of God regardless of the circumstances by which it began — is not a passing season of indignation. It cannot be! Lord, forgive us all if it becomes so!

It’s time for a change in our laws. But, more than that, it’s time for a change in the hearts of men and women when it comes to their decisions to create life. The time for “choice" is not after conception — it’s before intimacy! If you don’t want a baby, don’t have sex! Period! Set boundaries in your relationships and keep them. Don’t punish an innocent child because of your failure to exercise self-control.

We’ve got to take a stand for the unborn. While the voice of the selfish cry out for the right to kill their offspring rings loud across the land, the voice of those who respect and honor life as a gift from God to fulfill a specific and unique purpose on earth MUST ring out louder! We can no longer be the silent majority.

Washington has become the proponent of lawlessness even though it is supposed to be a reflection of the voice of the people. If Washington promotes abortion and the right to choose death for one’s own offspring, the voice of those who regard and honor the sanctity of life is not being heard. This MUST change.

We, the people, cannot miss this opportunity to stop Planned Parenthood and every other agency which promotes and practices the total disregard for human life. Lord, help us rise up and be a voice reflecting the sanctity of life in our land.


Note: If you have had an abortion, there is forgiveness and healing through repentance and surrender to Jesus Christ. I do not stand in judgment of those who have had abortions. None of us is without sin. But I encourage you to find peace and wholeness in Christ. If you would like to know more, email me at jan@janross.org; I would love the opportunity to pray with you.